Depression?
"There is indeed no shame in being depressed. It can happen to any of us, for any reason and at any time. Nobody is protected from those deep, dark clouds in your mind. Inspired by my friend's words and strength, I hope to keep the circle of hope for better days going. When all is said and done, let's be the heroes of our own darkest of days."
Oh, yes, the Blog Awards irony!
Oh the irony! That pure, untainted irony that just sits there grimacing at my lack of energy and overabundance of trigeminal neuralgia, today of all days! “What?” you ask. You who spends time with me, you know that I often live with sarcasm – I’m still DSF, a Delightfully Sarcastic Female after all. Not only that, tonight I feel cursed.
What you might not be aware of
"Walking on a staircase can be a bit of an E=mc2 moment in my life, meaning I can’t remember what those things at the end of my legs are for. They look cute in my tall Dr Martens boots, but every so often, I do wonder about them. Do I lift, drop or kick them sideways or not, or are they for decorative reasons only?"
Death: a fearful thing?
"Within Gandhi’s description of strength, however, was some fear also, and within that fear, there was indignity. That superbug wasn’t meant for me. I wasn’t an elderly person, I didn’t live in unclean housing and I hardly ever used antibiotics. I could’ve continued listing pessimism, unhappiness and disaster, only, I unconditionally refused to. Clostridium Difficile wasn’t indeed mine to get, or to give in to, so I fought my way back. I am not now, have never been and will never be one to give up without at least trying five different ways to solve a riddle of life. I wasn’t ready to go. I had lived enough for two lives, but I wanted a third."
No end to trigeminal neuralgia
"While I’m sitting here, typing fine long sentences, I'm almost giddy of pain, and the left side of my face feels like it’s being pulled way west in the direction of the Atlantic Ocean. My left eye feel like closing up shop for a week or two, and my brain is slowly being stir-fried. Yes, that is what trigeminal neuralgia feels like."
Wonder Woman Syndrome
"Having dissenting views on the verb ‘to pace,’ it is one I need to add seriousness as well as a lot more thought into. Having a Wonder Woman Syndrome is a term I sometimes carry with pride."
Kids? Not right now, please…
Children and multiple sclerosis? Although life was good in my last relationship, I secretly decided that having children would probably not be on my list of things to do. Not because of the lack of love, but because I didn’t want to pass on my illness to my future son or daughter. When we eventually talked about possibly mixing my illness with his screaming babies and hectic lifestyle, I realised that in quiet, I made the right decision. Being broody comes with being female, and despite my decision, I still get broody sometimes. If it wasn’t for MS, I absolutely would’ve wanted children. One of the few nice things about being chronically ill and being childless is however, when looking after children of friends and family, you can give their…
