My Christmas heroes

Christmas lights

Those who willingly and therefore as blindly as I was, kept walking beside me are the heroes in this fourteen year long tale of chronic illness, daily wretched pain and forgiveness, of daily adaptation and understanding.

Read More

Time heals, perhaps even MS

Dangling clock

As you move on in life, you will find that perhaps your diagnosis was something that needed to happen to see what is really important in life.
It is not an expensive new car, clothes, jewelry.
It’s health and acceptance, though flawed the best of times.

Read More

Winner Best Blog Post 2018!

Fireworks

Like Roy Keane’s dog Triggs, I also ponder the undeniable finiteness of life and how best to get through it unscathed.

Read More

Noise sensitivity in MS: Turn off your voice!

Vintage

If sound intolerance were a 2005 Marks & Spencer food porn ad, people would refer to it like this: “This is not just sensitivity, this is a hyperacusis noise sensitivity.”

Read More

In search of my MS Zen

Black picture woman

”Despite having my inner dialogue running into philosophical mayhem, I’ve been trying hardest to get things on paper. Sometimes it is rather difficult to grasp how unspeakably quick, indelible and distracting multiple sclerosis can become, only to disappear for a few hours before returning. As such, parameters on what I perceived to be acceptable have been reset, and my inner dialogue needs a fix as an intuitively sharp anguish took over my mindset last week.

Read More

Read More

Giving up?!

Red umbrella

But, MS is the keeper of secrets. Not just for a day, but forever. So, rewrite your narrative, embrace its playful game of cards waiting for you to chase triumphs during times of adversity.

Read More

Pull up your big girl panties!

On the beach

Let me count… Roughly speaking, I was diagnosed with MS about 5000 days ago. That’s one fair bit of experience under my hood, right? But… When talking to people, new or otherwise, it can be difficult telling them you’re living with an incurable neurodegenerative illness. Sometimes it feels like being in an uninterrupted car crash, minus the […]

Read More

You retired at age what?

Old clock

So, yes, I retired at age 36,5 and it will never be what I envisioned when I moved to Ireland. I ‘ve crashed and burned, stumbled and found hope in tiny triumphs and friendships larger than life that will stand the test of time.

Read More

Bliss, the MS-way

Apple autumn

I long for autumn since the first few warm days. I long to walk in Phoenix Park, kicking up fallen leaves that have been building up under large oak trees. The changing of colours in nature is invigorating, it serves as a token that life goes on, that seasons come and go, each year bringing new fragrances and new stories waiting to unfold.

Read More

The beauty and cruelty of words

woman writing on a notebook beside teacup and tablet computer

What we hold dear about putting pen to paper is the urge to create something out of nothing, quite often to slow down a fast-paced society where the purity of words have become chaotic and yearn to become meaningful and treasured again.

Read More

Starting over

Clock vintage

Sacrificing your life for a chronic illness never comes easily. You learn to compensate and decide how reliable your judgment is based on what you can put in physically, mentally and emotionally. Quite often, what lies within you is mentally infinitely stronger than anyone might realise – even yourself –  because, until that point in time, you have been at your worst already.

Read More

I am not my brain

Brain MRI

“What’s wrong with my brain?” doesn’t automatically mean, “Is my mind, my soul therefore broken as well?”

Read More

What singing taught me about life with MS

Black & white image singlng

It is hard to explain the following depth of reality. One morning shortly after my diagnosis, I woke up and thought, “From now on, I will wake up sick every day, and I need to accept that I will never get better again – unless a cure is found.”

That level of new normals isn’t easy. Then again, finding something black to wear while standing in front of a wardrobe filled with black clothes only, isn’t either. The same goes for the many pairs of black shoes, black rings, and necklaces.

Read More

The day I stopped being weak

Tired person running

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have. How true is this? You lose a parent, a brother or sister, or someone else you dearly loved and yet, time goes on. Time has to go on. For your family, for yourself. Years later you realise you went […]

Read More

Why I should be a brainiac, but I’m not

OMG shock and awe

It happened again. Just when I attempted to maximise my brain, it decided to take over and run the show. It’ll be fun, it said. But, it was so not pretty. Not even by a long mile. With so much physical pain and hence collected a fair amount of neurology-related knowledge due to life with MS, […]

Read More