Rhetoric aside, picking my battles wisely is not something I do easily. Not only that, changing your lifestyle and striving for quality of life is not as easy as it sounds. It’s as much a mental, emotional and physical struggle to sustain quality of life.
Having dissenting views on the verb ‘to pace,’ it is one I need to add seriousness as well as a lot more thought into. Having a Wonder Woman Syndrome is a term I sometimes carry with pride.
For a few years, one of the words I heard most of all after my MS diagnosis, was “pacing.” Not because it was a foreign word to me, but because I had such a difficult time reducing the verb to a mere word.
Sure enough, I forgot how to once again.
’Forgot’ might in fact be too strong a word to describe the last few weeks. I was doing a Gangnam Style dance in my head during the day. Physically, a few hours later, I dropped half dead because of warm weather, a faster-than-lightning family visit and lots of talking.
For the past ten days or so, I’ve woken up with music of the Lion King soundtrack in my head because it’s upbeat and just optimistic music. Wanting to be a king is not on my bucket list, but it surely is a great song to sing!
Ah, you know the drill at this stage, I lament the lack of insight into what ‘pacing’ entails, or lack the appetite to lie in bed all day and stare at the television. But oh, I do know all about an overactive fatigue and chronic pain pattern, I just tend to look the other way until I can no more. Wonder Woman annihilation. For real.
(I do know, I honestly do know about pacing in theory!)
And what happens after that?
Freedom, total freedom.
Being away from employment or other outside pressures makes it very easy to catch up on sleep during the day. Been there, done it and still doing it whenever I can: SLEEP… the magic five-lettered word that excites me more than Prince Harry in his army uniform.
Nine years after my diagnosis, I am still waiting on something that can cure my fatigue, optic and trigeminal pain. Advances in research and clinical trials can take forever, so I need to – and will – learn all about pacing and patience.
Trial and error, year after year, day after day.
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