It happened again.
Just when I attempted to maximise my brain, it decided to take over and run the show.
It’ll be fun, it said.
But, it was so not pretty.
Not even by a long mile.
With so much physical pain and hence collected a fair amount of neurology-related knowledge due to life with MS, I should be a brainiac.
Yet, I am not.
Let’s face it, everyone knows the internet is killing your productivity. It rather mockingly says, “If you give me your brain, I will fill it with no-nonsense nonsense. I will be the Jupiter to your Mars, and worse, the devilish Trump to our godly Obama. In short, I am bigger, taller and fatter than you, so you need to shut up.”
You get it.
Contrary to what you might think, this is an as contrary story of contrary ideals.
Maximising my brain means, “I need sleep. Me, Willeke, the bodily mass dangling at the bottom of your brain, needs a timeout.”
So, let me take you on an imaginary ride.
At 9.30am, you’re reading a bonkers news article about our ever-changing Irish weather system ‘The Beast of the East’. From there, you somehow end up on a ‘Should I Remove It?’ website from where you enter Sigmund Freud’s dream analysis, followed by puppies on YouTube.
At 9.35am, you are somewhere halfway the gigantic boot that is a map of Italy.
That, of course, is life on the internet. You feel as if you travelled a hundred miles without moving an inch. Today, it is seasoned with some acute eye and facial pain from staring at a small screen.
That, on the other hand, is also life inside my brain also when I am knackered, or in proper English: fatigued beyond measure.
When 4 anti-narcolepsy tablets might wake you up just a little bit, I kinda become as dumb as. English sounds like Chinese and I’ve yet to find a dictionary I can use to translate those funny little scribbles called an alphabet.
Or, when I can’t remember I wrote a reminder note to help me remember that there was something I can’t forget.
I could list a few other events but as you can tell, I’m on the road to find my duvet so I can fall into the arms of Morpheus.
(The idiot doesn’t even know me from Adam, talk about sultry one-day-naps!)
My brain just makes it happen. All day, every day.
And occasionally at night.
Life with MS is not for the faint-hearted.
But, life is also absolute.
We might not always need our brains.
But we all need our sleep.
Welcome to my sleepy, banjaxed, racked
and in tatters genius world.