It was indeed that time again.
“When I’m good, I’m really good, but when I’m bad, I’m even better,” Mae West once said. Now I don’t know much about Mae West, but I see her as an all-out cowgirl, slinging guns left, right and centre. In that respect, Mae, girl power, and let us all be great when we’re good, and even worse when we’re bad!
While I’m sitting here, typing fine long sentences, I’m almost giddy of pain, and the left side of my face feels like it’s being pulled way west in the direction of the Atlantic Ocean. My left eye feel like closing up shop for a week or two, and my brain is slowly being stir-fried. Yes, that is what trigeminal neuralgia feels like.
It’s not always like this though, as trigeminal pain can translate in different ways. It can feel like the ice bucket challenge, an earthquake, and monsoons as well as just… Mae West’s “when I’m bad, I’m even better.”
Silly girl, of course (me, not Mae West). I’m an idiot. Here I am, telling people to take care of themselves, telling them to take some time off from their MS as it’ll be there long enough, but do I listen to myself?
I keep on writing.
I cook over a hot stove, meaning my face gets even more of trigeminal nonsense.
(Well… one’s got to eat, right?)
I keep on staying up late.
(Well, again…not because I love to, but because pain keeps me awake)
I wake up, not because of a hot beau kicking my legs, but because pain wakes me up. Again.
I ramble on friends’ Facebook pages.
I call my mum in the middle of the night – by mistake, yes – because I half-asleep decided it would be good to check my emails and accidentally swiped from my mails to my recent phone calls.
You get the idea.
Chronic pain is no fun.
Not being able to fall asleep because of chronic pain, is no fun.
Finally falling asleep after being unable to sleep because chronic pain, is no fun.
Waking up again after finally falling asleep, after being unable to fall asleep because chronic pain, is no fun.
Finally sleeping again after waking up, after falling asleep, after being unable to fall asleep because chronic pain, is no fun.
Waking up again, after all that, because…
The bathroom calls me!
In other words, when I’m good, I’m really good, but when I’m bad, I’m even better.
© Willeke Van Eeckhoutte and Ireland, Multiple Sclerosis & Me, 2011-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Willeke Van Eeckhoutte and Ireland, Multiple Sclerosis & Me with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.