Philosophy of Friendship
Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. Albert Camus An empty white page on my laptop. Too warm to write, too warm to make sense out of nonsense on my own. In fact, even when I’m not on my own, my non(sense) seems to consist of bouts of gibberish fueled by a brain roasted like a Kentucky Fried Chicken. No need to travel to the Mediterranean to have heatwaves; I never said life in Ireland would make sense. In between July 1st and today there’s been the birthday of yours truly. No, I didn’t spend it drinking, smoking and getting high. As you know, said yours truly is of the non-party-animal…
The duplicity of MS
Summer has finally arrived in Ireland. After what seemed a prolonged autumn and/or winter, we saw summer marching in as if tomorrow might never come. Seeing we are a breed of people who can endlessly talk about the weather, we find fault in it as soon as it happens, only to spin more hours of talking about it. One of the Irish newspapers printed an hour-by-hour event guide to make the most of it… after all, this is a four-seasons-in-one-day country… just in case. But not this time. Headlines like ‘Scorchio is staying put for the weekend’ and “We’ll go from hot to warm weather” fill me with dread. Please don’t get me wrong, I like the sun as much as anyone else; it’s great for catching vitamin D, for…
The right to die
Suicide law in Ireland has been a hot topic recently. Marie Fleming, a multiple sclerosis patient in the later stages of the illness, is seeking the right to commit suicide with the help of her long-term partner Tom Curran. She does not want her partner receiving criminal charges for assisting her in her dying wish, and went before the President of the High Court, Mr Justice Nicholas Kearns in Dublin. Attempted suicide is no longer a criminal offense in Ireland since it was decriminalised in 1993. While self-harm is not seen as a form of attempted suicide, assisted suicide and euthanasia are still illegal under Irish law. This, however, was challenged at the High Court in December 2012.
Pride
Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live. (Jim Rohn) Being unwell? For those who only have an odd cold or flu, they believe they cannot possibly feel any worse. For those who battle cancer, ‘being unwell’ becomes a triumph over adversity if their treatment is successful. I often find myself floating in between the mere feeling of the flu or the worst pain possible (trigeminal neuralgia, remember?). On days like that, my illness feels like my body betrays me, day in, day out. Unlike people who have cancer and have the possibility of having their illness ‘cured,’ the course of my multiple sclerosis can only be ‘modified.’ Therein lies the betrayal. Modified becomes a permanent word in your vocabulary. Modified. Not cured, only modified.
Disability is never cured with one pill alone
So it seems I’m on the warpath. It also appears that if you want to change things, you have to work very hard to get it done. And hope your adversaries are willing to at least listen for one second to what you have to say. Is it worth it? Not if your voice is cut off before the first vowel leaves your lips. It is worth it, however, if or when your input is evaluated and rationalized as such that your opponent understands quite clearly what you mean. It’s true that we live in a society where politicians say all and citizens very little. The why and the wherefore of their actions often need to be repeatedly discussed on TV, in newspapers and in the salons of hairdressers, tea…
Silver Linings
Although I wrote the following post and updated it a good while ago, the subject sometimes finds its way back into my mind and reveals itself as something “ugly”. After all, what can be uglier than death, than feeling yourself slip into darkness? If that was not ugly enough, thoughts about the actions of certain people would make it feel even worse, as if you were just imagining things and what was happening was ‘not that bad’. Having seen what ‘in extremis’ is like, what dwindling closer and closer to my six feet under feels like… it is something that made me realise what life is really all about. So here we go… mor(t)ality…
World MS Day 2013
World MS Day 2013 today. While my diagnosis gave me a lot to think about, it gave back so many things to cherish and love: friends that care, family that supports and a medical team that is ready to tackle my every need. While there might not be a cure yet, I feel blessed to have received a second chance on life to do right by others, to lobby and to open the eyes of many. Thank you everyone for walking along my path of MS. You are the best!