Reality. It’s what’s for breakfast.
After some feeble attempts trying to write a few paragraphs the past few weeks, it was back to the drawing board each time. Not good enough. Already done this. Needs more research. Too tired. Not fit enough.
You know moments like these, you sit down, determination almost physically squeezing ink out of your pen. Cup of coffee at the ready, you start and a few minutes later you have to hold on, waiting for energy to kick your bum to open up your half-closed eyes.
Seamus Heaney once said “writing is a snapshot of consciousness”. I was lucky being semi-conscious this week. I could hardly make sense of myself during those few moments I tried to put pen to paper.
Is this writer’s block?
No, it can’t be.
‘It must be,’ that little voice said in the back of my mind.
Whatever its identity, writing and life just didn’t feel like sticking in my mind. Letting it roll by softly while in my mind, I search for words to accompany its pace.
Is there even such a thing as reality? Do we not view life through our own preconceived perception? Does that therefore mean that we each live a different reality altogether?
Note to self: philosophizing while drained is a very large no-can-do! (Our views are built on our experiences, and we each share common ground as much as we don’t share similarities).
Mine a bit gobbledygook really.
Long-range expectations are usually not that long-range in my life. I take it as it comes without planning months and years ahead. Some days I have to take it hour per hour, convincing people of my will and ability to perform difficult to do.
I am willing, I am usually more than willing. It’s only when you feel physical restraints curb your potential that you realise that you want more from your own reality.
It’s not writer’s block.
It’s energy being depleted in all the wrong places.
Balancing life and illness is not a mere task of loving life. It often is an act of survival. Reality is different for us all, it’s what you do with your perception of it that will determine how you will manage.
Reality at its best.
So be thankful for your family, be grateful to your friends.
Love life. Whatever you do with your own reality, just love life.
©Willeke Van Eeckhoutte and Ireland, Multiple Sclerosis & Me, 2011-2015. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Willeke Van Eeckhoutte and Ireland, Multiple Sclerosis & Me with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.