Just this morning I was described as an annoyingly independent and stubborn oddball.
I can live with that; I presume more people would agree.
What they do not know, however, is that for the better part of 13 months, I chose to hide a painful side of my emotional and mental frame of mind. In fact, I simply refused to give meaning to it.
Hints were dropped here and there, but I never told anyone about the fear that gripped my throat every time excruciating, knifelike facial pain (trigeminal neuralgia) took hold.
When TN attacks, the area around my left eye and the inside of my left ear as well as the inside of my eye become target practice for lightning bolts looking for a different kind of light show. Or, the stabbing pain turns into rubbery, burning numbness.
Neither are favourable.
Every 5 seconds piercing pain would turn my lively chatter into silence, and fear would grow stronger as time went on because people began to notice my absence because I needed a quick withdrawal from the outside world.
Anxiety grew to the point where I would only go outdoors wearing earplugs and sunglasses, and when I had a few Kalms tablets under my skin. Also, as a psychological issue, the stigma surrounding mental health made it difficult for me to speak up. In addition, I was also clueless about the fact that MS and anxiety are linked, making it a mental health issue about a chronic, physical illness.
I was more than surprised, so, when I read that research showed that MS-related anxiety usually happens shortly after being diagnosed, while some doubt it does not result from the physical process of MS itself. Read More