Death: a fearful thing?
"Within Gandhi’s description of strength, however, was some fear also, and within that fear, there was indignity. That superbug wasn’t meant for me. I wasn’t an elderly person, I didn’t live in unclean housing and I hardly ever used antibiotics. I could’ve continued listing pessimism, unhappiness and disaster, only, I unconditionally refused to. Clostridium Difficile wasn’t indeed mine to get, or to give in to, so I fought my way back. I am not now, have never been and will never be one to give up without at least trying five different ways to solve a riddle of life. I wasn’t ready to go. I had lived enough for two lives, but I wanted a third."
Letting go
Life seems like a joke, out to get you when you least expect it. People disappear from your life, but it’s not until after they’re gone that you realise how much you liked being around them. Or, you understand what being truly happy means because you’ve known absolute sadness. Or you start appreciating silence because you know how loud, annoying and horrible noise can be. Life seems like a joke so; it makes you learn lessons by applying the opposite of what you want. Life is a joke in an ironic way. Murphy’s Law had it in for me years ago. Anything that could go wrong went totally wrong. In the space of 3.5 years I lost part of myself (thank you MS!), and my only sibling, stepdad and four other…
Mortality
The superbug that had been staring into my eyes for months seemed long gone. In its wake, it left me wondering. I went through an abyss, one that could resemble Dante's nine circles of hell. That bottom of that abyss had been the morning before the rush into surgery.
