“So, how’s the book,” friends often ask me.
“Oh, it’s getting there,” I joke. “I’ve finished one page, the one with the title and my name!”
I don’t lack the ambition to keep on writing, but I have an overabundance of low energy levels, so I must ask people to use their patience… patiently when dealing with me.
Like all cowards, the illness I write about lurks in the dark within my central nervous system, and it sometimes rises to the surface in unflattering ways. My body does a good job in concealing it for now, but every so often I worry about it rising to the surface and staying there… permanently.
When relapses or older symptoms show up, it blackens moods when it arrives, and brightens faces when it leaves. Life with a chronic illness means that as the bearer of that illness, you’re chained to a shape-shifting entity that understands no reason. Our bodies should show us who we are, not who we are not.
Unfortunately, with relapsing-remitting MS, that’s exactly how it grabs us unexpectedly. With MS, there is no single theory that gives us an inkling why we live with that unequal and accidental guest.
We have no Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawking to concoct more lasting theories. The laws of nature are few, and they are even fewer in the world of MS. So, yes, life with MS is complexity in all its forms, and finding the theory of why MS even exists will someday be an enormous achievement.
Nonetheless, there is beauty in its complexity, honour in its demise and inspiration in its early days. The “Why me?” theory may be incomplete for now, but the friendships, relationships, experiences and love you will find because of it, will be entwined and lasting.
Rather by accident and through my National MS Society, I met a group of fellow writers last year that are 100% compatible with what is going on within me. They are few, they are near, and they were just what was missing in my life. The probability we would not get on was obliterated after just one evening in each other’s company.
In short, together we are #strongerthanms
For Ava, Diana, Karen, Joan, Lucina, Trevis, Declan, Aoife, Niamh, Helen, Birgit and the many others who crossed my path the last 1,5 years.
©Willeke Van Eeckhoutte and Ireland, Multiple Sclerosis & Me, 2011-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner are strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Willeke Van Eeckhoutte and Ireland, Multiple Sclerosis & Me with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.