In search of my MS Zen
Despite having my inner dialogue running into philosophical mayhem, parameters on what I perceived to be acceptable have been reset, and my inner dialogue needs a fix as an intuitively sharp anguish took over my mindset last week.
Jammed filter!
I didn't dumb down, I just kinda go dumber depending on my physical state of being before regaining some speed again. My neuropsychologist pointed out that sometimes, my ability to handle particular mental tasks may skip the F1 pole position, but that brain training was a great way to stop the decline.
Oh, snap!
"Also, because of the long, warm summer days, Uhthoff's Symptoms, also referred to as Phenomenon or heat sensitivity, means that I am rather slow in the upstairs department, which eventually lead to predicament B. My days are unquestionably not dull nor tranquil, so."
Use it or lose it!
"I much prefer a writer’s slow process from that one, flickering half a sentence in my head to it eventually making it into my handbag's notebook or onto the internet. After all, writing in Ireland is a national illness, or a survival instinct of sorts. A lot of ideas come to me by my own form of public crowdsourcing; listening to people and picking up a few words here or there, thinking those words could eventually become a new piece."
Forgiveness
Being diagnosed with a chronic illness often leads to self-examination of your mind. You think you made mistakes somewhere down the path of your life and now karma has come to bite you very hard. You want to know why this happened to you and ‘why not someone else who deserves it far more than I did’ and others will comfort you, saying that ‘bad things happen to good people…’ However, does it comfort you? What do you do? Do you really believe that you are a bad person because something bad happened to you? Do you feel the world now owes you because of this? Often existential questions go through my mind after issues arise and not just since my own MS diagnosis 8 years ago but ever since…