Once again I am here. A small, busy waiting room in hospital. People waiting, wondering, dreading, hoping. How much longer will I need to be here? When will it be the last time I can walk in here with a neurological illness and when will I be able to walk out with that nagging, progressing disease eradicated from my central nervous system?
It is not fair. Nobody deserves to be here. Nobody is ever prepared to hear what the stranger in front of them will have to say. A neurologist looks at your test results, gazing, thinking. Do they wonder how they will tell you that from this minute onwards, your life as you once knew it, is now over?
Unfair is the way it was thrown at me, at you, us. All of you who now wonder why, what, when and how. I wonder when a cure will be found. If a cure will be found. Why it’s taking so long and why others seem to benefit more from them than I do. It’s simply unfair. A body betrayed, a life utterly changed.
Illnesses take over, control in tatters. MS hampers, harms and sets boundaries where I want none. It shows me that people can be vulnerable, exposed to inner destruction from a central nervous system gone wrong.
One day, the race to erase MS will see medical research breakthrough windows stained with pain, heartache and the question why. One day it will be fair that millions of people will be cured, their physical body slowly restored to what it maybe once was. Fairness will be smiling faces, medication chucked in bins.
Fairness will be healthy people, happy lives, restored confidence and friendships rekindled. That, and many, many more.
© Willeke Van Eeckhoutte and Ireland, Multiple Sclerosis & Me, 2011-2013. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Willeke Van Eeckhoutte and Ireland, Multiple Sclerosis & Me with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.